"Cooperating with Your Partner"

By: Star Trekker

(Originally published in the March 1999 issue of Perspectives)

Co-operation is something that you know is important to have, but at the same time, it sounds so tiresome and dull. Where’s the excitement in cooperation? Where’s the thrill of the chase, the zero-sum game of cat and mouse, the neurotic exhilaration of kinky hanky-panky?

Well, the irony is that any competition has an essential element of cooperation. In any sport, from golf to mud wrestling, both competitors need to adhere to the basic rules of the game. Even in the high-stakes game of street racing, the driver needs to cooperate with the car, with the conditions of the road, the forces of nature, his bladder, in order to beat the other racer. Any loss of control of any tiny (or large) component would lead to a greater chance of failure.

But there’s a component of competition in cooperation that many don’t seem to recognize. When you work in a group, so many competitive elements kick in that complement the cooperative act. For one, each member’s ego jump starts when the group first meets. Even though everyone is working together for a common goal, people are nonetheless observant of their partner’s abilities, weaknesses, and idiosyncrasies, and if their enthusiasm for the group project is strong, they’ll use their group member’s characteristics for their own benefit. Take for example, someone who is computer illiterate. For someone who is literate, that opens up an opportunity to show off one’s computer skills by using high-end computer programs to create the group output. If there’s more than one computer-proficient member, they’ll compete, consciously or unconsciously, striving to out-do the other, which has the by-product of creating an even better group project.

But is cooperation limited to the dull activity of diplomacy and academic endeavour? Oohh no-no-no. Competitive cooperation lies at the very heart of the best types of human copulation. In the most significant human imperative—procreation—lies the potential of great results that can last a lifetime, assuming both partners have the compatibility, longevity, the stamina, the courage, and the will to continue.

Assuming compatibility of a couple, experience and awareness provide the foundation for mutual longevity in their bedroom performance. With exercise, stamina increases, resulting in a rise in courage, and perpetuation of sustainable will. Greater and greater growth in skill will promote more desire, and a longing for more as time passes. As they begin to feel each other’s strengths, competition kicks in, each challenging the other with a new move, location, or position, keeping their love alive. Year after year, month after month, day after day, each partner comes to appreciate the long term, cooperative nature of their union. Kinda puts a different spin on the old ‘ball and chain’ now doesn’t it? "So honey, where do you want go today?"


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